This week I wrote 2 more stories and have done a draft for the final story. I’m going to complete writing the final story by the end of the week. Plus I did more audio recordings for my stories including all the voice parts and I will start editing them next week to have a complete story. Also we had a lecture on sentences structure and what that can do to our stories. 


I now only have one more story to complete, the others are finished but are not the final draft. I’m going over them to see if there are any changes I could make so the story is shorter and still has all its meaning.

My overall hope is that all my story connect in a way and can also make the reader think that potential the crimes did happen in Canterbury at some point.

I’ve also completed the audio for the dialog for all stories I have written so far. I will do the narrative of the stories at home to then edit it Monday in the afternoon. Plus I’m going to add sound effects to the stories so they have an atmosphere correct to the story.

Sentences Structure:

We also had a lecture on sentence structure, so we could understand the use verbs, nouns, adverbs and adjectives.The lecture also helped us understand what style of writing can be used in journalism, meaning that we shouldn’t use adjectives because it’s to descriptive for the style of writing in journalism.

One important piece of information we learnt was to not overuse a word otherwise it will lose its meaning and become irrelevant. This meaning that we should widen our vocabulary when it comes to written so more meaning can be created using different words.

To understand what effect descriptive words have we did an exercise which meant we took out all the interesting words to replace them with other words.

Original: The little match girl, Hans Christian Anderson

Most terribly cold it was; it snowed, and was nearly quite dark, and evening– the last evening of the year. In this cold and darkness there went along the street a poor little girl, bareheaded, and with naked feet. When she left home she had slippers on, it is true; but what was the good of that? They were very large slippers, which her mother had hitherto worn; so large were they; and the poor little thing lost them as she scuffled away across the street, because of two carriages that rolled by dreadfully fast.

My version:

Most cold it was, it snowed, and was nearly evening—the last night of the year. In this cold there went along the street a girl, no hat and no shoes. When she left home she slippers on. They were too big, once her mother wore them, so large, the little girl lost them as she made her way down the street, as two carriages went by.

You can see that I’ve changed a lot of the words so that the reader has the same idea of what is happening but I’m not overusing any just changing them to words that have the same meaning bu are not repetitive. However in some cases I’ve only taking the words out rather than finding a replacement, this being ether because they aren’t needed and can cause confusion or they are not necessary. Such as Anderson first line of the story has a lot of descriptions but not all it is needed, in cases he repeats himself, so when I wrote it I made sure the first line was simple and can be understood but still keeping what Anderson had written.


At the end of the week we had another session with Celia about how to use In-design, we learnt skills on how to use certain parts of the software including how to make a text have a photo as its font and other aspects.

I also did some photography as I needed photos for the in-design and so took a selection of photos of my landmarks for my walk.


  • Andersen, H. (1987). The little match girl. 1st ed. New York: Putnam.